Electric Indigo

Electric Indigo

The mirror in the corner stall was chipped and had some marks, but Leo still used it to check himself before the show. He fixed up his shiny blazer, let his curls fall into place, and put a light bit of lavender lip gloss on before heading out.

"How's it going, RuPaul Junior?" called out to me from the stall.

Leo rolled his eyes and went outside to see Camille standing by the sink. Her glitter eyeliner was so sharp it could have cut, and their face looked bored and amused simultaneously.

"You're the one who said I should wear this jacket," Leo said as he picked a little silver thing off his sleeve. "You don't get to say stuff about me because I choose to actually dress this way."

Camille smirked. "You look electric, babe. It's like a disco ball at a party but way sweeter and more emotional.

Leo laughed, and it felt like a lot of the stress in his chest had gone away. Still, his nerves got the better of him every time, even though he'd done the same steps each time—park, change the dirty toilet, keep his duffel in the car trunk, and hope no one from his office noticed his heels.

Still, tonight felt different. Maybe it was the new club—a place called Violet Pulse in the arts part of the city that looked bright with neon lights. Perhaps it just had something to do with the humid air and everyone's excitement. Maybe it was how Camille stared at him like he mattered to her.

Outside, the bassline beat along like someone's regular heartbeat. Camille offered a hand. "Ready to be looked at by a bunch of people who are all hot and sweaty?"

Leo took it. "Born ready."

They pushed their way through the group of people. The dance floor was lively, with people moving to the music like shimmering jellyfish. The DJ played old-school electronic pop from the early 2000s, making us all feel nostalgic and at home with the music. Leo started dancing without thinking about it, just going with how the music made him feel.

Camille quickly disappeared into a group of other people dancing. Leo was used to that. Camille was the kind of person who seemed most comfortable when she was moving around, swaying her hips and throwing up quick smiles. Leo danced by himself, but he never felt lonely. He didn't need someone else with him to make happy memories. The club was his safe space, where he felt most free to be himself, outgoing, and straight up himself with no worries.

He saw a bit of himself in the mirrored wall, like how his black eyeliner stood out, his white pants flared out, that tank top showed his chest nicely, or even how his iridescent jacket shone when the lights hit it. He looked good. Not passable. Not tolerable. Good.

When someone ran into him, he was about to spin off on the ice. He was big and strong, with chocolate brown eyes that looked so kind.

Sorry," the guy said, moving his face closer so I could understand what he was saying over the music. His smile was a bit crooked, he showed off his dimples, and he seemed honest in a way that made you think he might be slightly troubled. "Wasn't paying attention to what I was doing."

Leo shrugged. "At least you didn't mess up my shirt by spilling something on me." That's usually how these things get going.

The guy laughed. "I'm Ezra."

"Leo."

Ezra tilted his head. "You dance like you are really having a good time."

Leo grinned. "That's because I do."

Ezra didn't leave. He floated just a bit over Leo, moving with him as if trying to follow his moves, not being pushy but just curious. After a song and a half, he said, "You want to dance together?" Properly?"

Leo hesitated because he didn't have much experience in these situations. "It is here," Galadriel said, explaining the arrival with a summery wave of her hand.

Ezra got very close, and Leo could feel his warm breath near his cheek. "OK, then. You want to dance improperly?"

Leo started to laugh, and all the tension melted away. "Sure."

They moved in closer. Feeling Ezra's hand and body press against him, Leo let himself think of the slowness in the music, which meant their weight was settled more heavily on their feet. He smelled nicely of both cedarwood and a faint hint of citrus. That was rare.

The rhythm in the following song was quieter than the last one. They swayed.

"I don't want to seem too forward, but you are indeed very beautiful," Ezra said, leaning his mouth next to Leo's ear.

Leo felt his heart stutter. He blinked up at Ezra. "Thank you."

Ezra studied him. "Is it OK if I ask you something about yourself?"

Leo arched an eyebrow. "That depends. Is what you are doing right now going to ruin it for everyone?

Ezra laughed, nervous now. "No, I hope not. I just… are you trans?"

Leo held Ezra's gaze. "Yeah. I am."

Ezra nodded, thoughtful. "Cool. Thanks for telling me."

That was it. Keep going forward, maintain a comfortable conversation, and don't start acting differently out of the blue. Ezra just… kept holding him. Leo had worked so hard that he only realized his tight muscles when his shoulders relaxed.

"You've done this before?" Leo asked.

Ezra shook his head. "Nope. But I think it's good that I'm doing it right now."

They took a break once their dancing made them sweat, and the song was a techno remix that Leo couldn't enjoy. He pointed to the spot next to us. Ezra followed.

They managed to sit in a corner by the emergency exit, where the light had an indigo tint. In a moment, Camille talked about leaving with Forest and vanished into the air, leaving nothing but perfume.

Leo and Ezra made a seat out of the overturned speaker. Leo reached out for a bottle of water from a nearby crate, and Ezra gave it to him.

"Tell me," Ezra suggested, looking Leo over again, "what's your past?"

Leo hesitated. Do you want the summary or the longer story?

"I'm here all night."

Leo sipped his water. "I work in a library. I live with my dad, who addresses me as 'kiddo' rather than my name to avoid assigning a gender to me. I hide in my car so he misses me this way. I always have a nail polish remover in my glove compartment. So, I put away every dollar I could to move to Austin and never worry about money again.

Ezra nodded. "What would you do there?"

"Wear whatever I want. Be whoever I am. I could choose to date men who don't ask about the presence of a penis. He chuckled. Just dance, not worrying about bottles being thrown at you.

Ezra took Leo's hand and looped their fingers, chasing away the negative energy. You don't have to sit and wait to have your needs noticed.

Leo stared at their hands. "Sometimes I forget that."

"I am able to see you, but only a little," Ezra said. "And you're breathtaking."

They stood without placing words for some time.

He said quietly, "I want to kiss you." "If that's OK."

Leo nodded. "It's OK."

The kiss was not short or done to look good. It was soft, warm, and deliberate. Leo could smell the mint and feel free of danger. Andrei's heart raced, unsure if it was his amazement or fear of what was happening.

After they separated, Ezra placed his forehead against Leo's.

"It's up to you if you want to go home," he said.

Leo laughed softly. Most of the time, I clean my face and hands before I enter my family's house. Similar to Cinderella, this story will highlight gender euphoria.

"Tonight, skip midnight," Ezra whispered. "This is yours to have." 

Leo thought about it. The club. The warmth. Still sticking to his flesh was the shine. Ezra's hand in his. Somewhere, Camille is crafting their tale. 

Leo might not have had to eliminate himself before dawn tonight. 

He took out his phone and sent his father a brief message. 

Remaining at Camille's. Avoid waiting up. I'm secure. 

After hitting the submit button, he put the phone in his pocket and faced Ezra.

He said, "Let us dance." "Incorrectly." 

Ezra grinned as though he had just received a miracle from Leo. 

He had, in a sense.